Its January 21st and my subconscious is feeling the heat. Heat of what say you? Heat of the growing fear of marriage; the ceremony, the hectic preparations, the responsibility, the monogamy lifestyle, the ever-so-active kids Im gonna have (exhibit A: my cuz's children), the in-laws, the in-laws other children, the sex life, my zero tolerancy of a couch-potato husband. The list goes on and on...

Ok, why the topic on marriage suddenly? You see, my cuz just had her second wedding in less than 5 short damn years and looking at her yesterday at her wedding reception, I think I've infected the jealousy disease. Do not know how or WHY that matter I got it but I'm god damned sure its the work of my alter ego. Usually, I do NOT tolerate 'her' ridiculous antics and 'her' takes on a perfect life. But yesterday, she hit me hard. Shit HARD. God! Her (my cuz's) husband gave this awww kind of speech and next thing I knew, 'she' started poofing down tears from my eyes. Freaking bi-atch. You just gotta do that, don't ya?? I mean, WOAH girl, what the fuck?? Me, tearing up at weddings?? This is just unheard of. Seriously, wedding stuffs and me do not go well like Bonnie & Clyde.

"Err, I gotta be in the wrong cable vision channel, girl ", telling myself that.

Quoted my aunt and my grandma,

"Let's hope they caught the " I do" disease as soon as possible".

They then laughed sarcastically at me and my 16!!!, 16 yr old sis.
Helloooooooooooo. Are you guys retarded??? She hasnt even finished her O Levels yet and here you guys are hoping she'll get married soon??? WTF!!!!????

And yeah, me goin crazy over how my wedding should look like?? My apologies. Won't imagined happening even for the next 10 yrs of my lazy life. Can't they understand that I'm just NOT that kind of girl? *A BIG SIGH*
Grown ups. I freakin hate tiaras, over-the-top wedding gowns, shitload of makeup on my lifeless skin, wedding rings ... errrrrghhh
I feel like puking up right now.

Right. Nevermind that. Bottomline is, I just do NOT imagined the " PERFECT " wedding. NOT! Lets just say Im an alien living in a woman's body. Im not a bi or a lesbo for that matter (no offence to these society). Planning the perfect wedding??? It will never fit in my schedule. Not that I have any but Im sure of myself its not, NEVER gonna happened for the time being. Possibly in my 30's. Now?? Im as sure as England's performance in the EURO CUP for the next consecutive years. Not happening...

Well, when I really think the timing's right (after 30's of course), I might consider...
Oh, where's my Captain Jack Sparrow when I need him ... *sigh* again